In my experience, those young men who are most likely to carry knives and other weapons are not those who go to school. What percentage of those who come from a problem background regularly attend school or college? The real problem is violence in the streets, in pubs and clubs, and even in the local supermarket I have been to clubs and witnessed stabbings. So families and friends simply tend to want the usual because they do not know, or fear, the alternative of being more involved in “their” service.Until we address the issues underlying our cultural denial of death, perhaps we won’t be able to mourn well. Our biggest difficulty in helping to do the best for families is that in this society, on the whole, we don’t know how to mourn. This is not so.
I strive (as I was taught) to produce a funeral service that helps people to grieve wholesomely. Among other things, this means giving thanks for the life of the person who has died.

The service is indeed much more for those who live than for the one who has died (and sometimes we will have to ask whether the deceased’s wishes get in the way).I know many other clergy who strive to produce a good quality service which takes in the wishes of the family and which is flexible in the way that it responds to family needs. As someone involved in the conducting of funerals I would be more than happy to find next-of-kin wanting to think over the event as well and as thoroughly as he does. He implies that Church of England funerals are not capable of being personal or relevant to the grief processes of next-of-kin. Sir: Andrew G Marshall’s “perfect compromise” over the funeral of his partner has a lot to commend it (“In loving memory, with a rock backing”, 19 May).

Current health education approaches in this field have only very modest effects.There is a need for other measures, including more effective education, tighter controls to prevent children buying alcohol for themselves and, especially, much better provision of leisure facilities, but fiscal policy is the single most effective way to deal with this problem. Raising taxes on alcohol generally, but more on alcohol mixed with soft drinks and less on low-alcohol drinks, would inevitably have an effect on the pattern of consumption in the young.Some other European countries would not like a higher taxation approach, but this could be one of those areas in which the UK could give a lead.Professor PHILIP GRAHAMChairNational Children’s BureauLondon EC1. The level of alcohol abuse (drunkenness, alcohol-related deaths, illness and crime) is closely related to the total level of consumption. The amount young people drink is a close reflection of the consumption of the total population, though the young, and especially young women, are increasing their consumption more rapidly than the rest of us. Alcohol consumption is highly price- sensitive, and is especially so in the young. Mr Dobson is the only politician I have heard putting the matter so succinctly and, for the fuel profiteers, so brutally. Mr Blair needs to take the ideal aboard – and quickly.ROBERT JONESChelmsford, Essex.