Instead, we shall have just another contribution to the ever-increasing amounts of global hot air. I wonder if they’ll agree to cut emissions by as much as was created by the airline fuel needed to fly them all there.. Welcome to dress stress, the Christmas dose. The summer bit comes, you remember, when the first wedding/birthday/christening/ garden party invitation of the year drops on to the mat

Now, of course, it is the season to be merry. Invariably this means that we are expected to dress up like the female version of a Christmas tree – something, incidentally, that is all too easy to do, judging by the number of sparkly, sequined numbers in the shops.
We should like you to avoid that Christmas-tree look (you know we’re right).

There is little doubt that burning fossil fuels in vast quantities is taking a risk with the environment Perhaps it is a negligible risk; perhaps it is a huge risk. The disturbing aspect is that the debate seems to have been hijacked by political activists. It always seems to be spokespersons for Green pressure groups, or scientists from government-funded agencies, who tell us how bad the situation is.Somewhere, there must be some truly independent scientists who are prepared to say exactly how much we know – and, perhaps more important, how much we don’t know – about the process of global warming, yet we never seem to hear anything from them.There may be something very important going on in our skies, but the Kyoto conference will do little to throw light on it. But we don’t even understand how the oceans behave when they are left alone – as the mysterious El Nino keeps reminding us.All the scepticism expressed above, of course, is grossly irresponsible. Shouldn’t we expect it to be getting gradually warmer?The steepest rise of all was between 1910 and the early Forties, after which there was a gradual drop in temperature over the next 30 or so years, followed by the recent rise. It may well be that greenhouse gas emissions are pushing temperatures higher than they would otherwise have been, but it is also clear that other factors are having a greater effect.The predictions currently being made of rising temperatures are based on extrapolating the trends of the past 100 years – yet might we not just as well extrapolate backwards and deduce complete nonsense about what the temperature of the earth must have been a few centuries ago? In any case, 100 years of data are hardly enough to trust an extrapolation another 100 years into the future.Now, what about that frozen Britain hypothesis? It depends on a model of the behaviour of the oceans when vast amounts of cold waters are released into them. The records date back to about 1860, which was the end of the “Little Ice Age”.

All that melted ice would create such currents of cold water that the gulf stream would change direction and we’d end up with a near Arctic climate.And a third report tied it all up neatly: 1997 is heading for being the warmest year on record. That’s proof that global warming is with us, and it’s all our fault, and it’s time we did something about it.Now hang on a moment Let’s just think about that “warmest year on record”. At the end of last week, we were deluged with predictions of potential disaster. By 2050, drought will threaten the lives of 100 million more people; by 2080, floods will threaten another 200 million.

Global warming, caused by all that carbon dioxide we’re spewing out into the atmosphere, is melting ice-caps and heating up the world.
In another report on the same day, we read that for us in Britain, it could be the opposite. With her mile-a-minute mouth and genius for self-publicity – a talent she shares with her one-time heroine, Madonna (remember her?) – Paglia could have an alternative career as a stand-up. Like her or loathe her, much of what she says has an uncomfortable ring of truth. Tonight she gives a lecture in the Sounding the Century series which kicked off with her fellow countryman Gore Vidal. That, though, is probably the only thing these two have in common.. The world climate conference that begins today in Kyoto, Japan, is being described as the last great environmental battle of the 20th century. When it comes to global warming, however, the difference between responsible behaviour and panic is too close to call.

If there were a word to describe the opposite of the admittedly ghastly term “bluestocking”, Paglia would be it. Wolseley Fine Arts, Gallery 27, 27 Cork Street, London W1X 1HB (0171- 734 7595) to 13 Dec. Camille Paglia, QEH, South Bank Centre, London SE1 (0171-960 4242) 7.30pm

According to which side of the divide you occupy, cultural commentator Camille Paglia is either the answer to the late 20th century’s prayers or its worst nightmare. Sarfaty’s latest series addresses the role of the nude in art history and, though earlier work will be exhibited, the new paintings focus specifically on the play of reality and image suggested by the major motif of “Reflections of a Woman”, the mirror.