Moore will undoubtedly use the press conference to inveigh against President Bush’s suspiciously cosy links with the Bin Laden family – and against the Disney Corporation for refusing to distribute the film. Also for free Magazines distributed to every hotel, restaurant and bar every morning; you have to learn the strange abbreviated language of the trade (pic meaning the film, thesp meaning actor, helmer meaning director, prexy meaning president and “BO holding well despite post-Easter blahs” meaning God knows what).N is for Negotiations, the main activity. All over the big hotels, inside the white beachside tents of Cannes Village, thousands of independent movie producers are selling ideas (“It’s sort of Sylvia meets Pirates of the Caribbean, really, with this really hot soundtrack…”) to suspicious and cynical buyers from the big studios, who will promise to get on board only provided that Keira Knightley and Hugh Grant have definitely committed.O is for ‘Ohmigod, this is crap,’ the thought that occurs to you in the stalls, half an hour into a film that was promised as “gripping and suspenseful” It’s not You’d rather cut off your arm than watch on. My all-time “Ohmigod” movie was an Argentine treat called La Cruz Del Sur, a work of stupefying misery and despair about a violent, crack-smoking smuggler, his silent, weeping girlfriend, his transexual brother and his dysfunctional parents who live in a depopulated seaside resort on a hill filled with skeletons.P is for Press. Nowhere do the massed ranks of the world’s press feel as frustrated, marginalised, impotent and neglected as at Cannes.

There are four basic rules: 1) the premiere of any big movie will be at 8.30am, when you’re barely awake after the yacht party the night before; 2) any possible chance for a bouncer or doorman or laminate-inspector to say: “Non monsieur, c’est complet/fini/impossible” will be seized with alacrity; 3) Cannes press officers are charming and beautiful people, but will never actually tell you what’s happening in the next 24 hours; and 4) requests to interview stars or directors (which should have been fixed up back in January) will be greeted with hoots of scorn. Figures released yesterday showed that unemployment has fallen to its lowest level for 29 years.* Mr Clarke announced that state funding was now available to help students take A-levels at private schools not available at state schools, such as Latin, Greek, Spanish and History of Art. He briefed the Cabinet on it last week and the Parliamentary Labour Party on Monday The blueprint will be published in July. Mr Clarke told Labour MPs: “Our priority is to reduce the skills deficit by tackling adult basic literacy and numeracy skills, providing every adult with the chance to get five GCSEs, developing sector skills councils to assess and plans for future skills needs.” He said the challenges were to encourage more employers to provide training for their workers at every level and develop “a flexible ladder of qualifications”.The other theme of Mr Blair’s speech will be “Britain is working”, echoing Labour’s slogan for the European and local elections. Skills are key to New Labour’s mission, a future fair for all, where in a world of change the many, not just the few, can succeed.”The adult skills push will form a key plank in a “five-year plan for education and skills” being drawn up by Charles Clarke, the Secretary of State for Education.

The Big Conversation has shown there is a real appetite among employers and employees for a skills revolution enabling business to become more productive and more families to share in the expansion of our nation’s wealth. He will pledge that if he wins a third term, he will seek to “widen the winning circle” of economic prosperity to include more families from middle and lower income Britain. A key aim would be to improve the skills of working adults.The Prime Minister will say: “Increasingly in Britain, what you learn determines what you can earn. The offer of free tuition will save people £100 or more, according to the Government. Employers will be encouraged to allow workers time off and a telephone hotline will be set up by the Learndirect organisation to give people easy access to courses in their area.Mr Blair’s announcement will be made at a meeting with employers and trade unionists as part of the “Big Conversation” listening exercise which is informing Labour’s general election manifesto.